Once upon a time, an informative and elaborately-folded “newspaper,” arrived on every American’s doorstep just before sunrise. It was filled with articles and advertisements, and was to be perused with one’s morning coffee. Then a famed climate scientist named Al Gore invented the internet, and the lonely perverts who once took out ads in papers’ Personals Sections left for Craigslist, rendering the industry’s profit-model completely broken. And so concludes an exhaustive history of print journalism.




